Public Nakedness

Room_Creative_Home_Beach_TowelsThat awkward moment in the public change room at the pool when you are politely chatting with someone, then you turn away to undress, but realize that they are still talking.  So you try to act all casual about public nakedness, and attempt to nonchalantly wrestle your body out of a wet, one-piece bathing suit that has nowhere better to be.  As body parts start flying around in all different directions, and sweat begins to bond with the chlorine on your skin causing your bathing suit to suddenly super glue itself to your body, you try to smile and maintain strict eye contact, all the while trying to avoid smacking your head off the lockers behind you and ending up in a pitiful pile of shame on the floor.

I never was very good at small talk.  Turns out I’m even worse when I’m naked.


Originally published on March 6, 2016 by Motherhood Made Me Do It

28 thoughts on “Public Nakedness

  1. Oh, you just described swimming with Little MPB perfectly. Except he caused me to have a wardrobe malfunction while in the swimming pool with all the other moms/dads and their babies. At which point I was trying to put myself back into my top, while not dropping the toddler who does not know how to swim independently yet. Worst part, I bought that swimsuit because I thought it would be toddler proof! Thankfully, no-one was trying to talk to me while I flashed the entire YMCA.

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  2. Bahahaha YES! I totally agree with this. That’s why I’m super thankful for the family changerooms that I can still use while my son is young. Close the door and nobody to talk to while stripping awkwardly out of the bathing suit.

    Or what about when you walk into the bathroom at the same time as someone else and you get to talking while walking in then you go into your separate stalls and they continue to talk as you both are clearly sitting on the toilet and the trickling sound starts happening?

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      1. Totally agree on that one! If a kid isn’t trying to climb onto my lap while I’m using the bathroom then pretty much any other bathroom situation I don’t even think about anymore!

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  3. Reminds me of the first day I took LO to swimming classes. I was so stressed about my body post baby so getting changed in front of other people seemed like mission impossible.
    And yes I had to while changing Ruby and making sure she is safe enough on a changing table, looking through my bag for my clothes and desperately trying to hold on to my towel for as long as I could


    1. OMG, I remember those days! I hated it! I can tell you truthfully that my kids did not swim much when they were younger, and that was mainly because I hated the whole change room ordeal so much!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I only took her about four times. Last one was the worst as we had to evacuate the pool. My LO decided to take a 💩 and the nappy leaked. 😂😂 funny but imagine now all those people coming to change in the same time 🙄

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    1. I thought I was becoming more comfortable changing in front of other people. I was feeling fairly confident about the whole process until that whole naked conversation happened. Now I’m prepared to change in the washrooms if need be!! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This happens in the men’s locker room, too. However, it also spills over in the men’s restroom, too. Seriously, I don’t want to have a conversation with another guy at that moment. Can’t it wait? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 🙈🙊I don’t do locker room changing. Even in high school I went to the bathroom stall or (open) shower stall, separated by tile walls (Carrie style) and changed. I am no exhibitionist.

    Liked by 1 person

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