Massage Mismanaged


I went for a massage a while ago hoping to finally get some relief from the knots in my shoulders and neck. Part of me was hoping for a relaxing spa-like experience, but no.  A thousand times NO.  That was not what happened.

I am still trying to figure out how such a small person (we will call her Masseuse Mamma) was able to inflict so much pain. At one point, Masseuse Mamma grabbed hold of the knot in my shoulder and went at it with such determination that I had to stop myself from screaming, “Is it dead yet?!” This was after she slowly, but forcefully squished all the air from my lungs, leaving me with just enough strength to raise my hand in protest.

Then, just when I thought Masseuse Mamma was winding down, she began working on the muscles in my lower back (an area that was, at the time, completely pain-free). I’m still not sure if it was her knuckles, thumbs or feet that left the bruise there that I discovered the next day.

I’m beginning to suspect that this was my initiation into Fight Club….

34 thoughts on “Massage Mismanaged

  1. Our daughter is a certified massage therapist who took a “Special Populations” class so she could work on her poor, old, disabled mom. Usually I’m a bit sore the next day but, overall, feel great. The last time she worked on me I was bedridden for three days and it took two weeks to finally feel semi-human again. It wasn’t that she was trying to kill me (at least I don’t think she was) but she did EVERYTHING. Hot stones, cups, two different massage styles, and a baseball bat (okay, maybe not that but it felt like it). I’m not saying I was traumatized but I cringed the next time she hugged me.


  2. Oh! I so can relate!!!! I’m on holidays and went for a massage with one of the ladies set up on the beach. Last week. Tiny little lady but it was the same as you – WHEW!!!! all I could do not to scream or moan. Decided never to do again or everyday, one has to stop the pain.
    Thanks for the ‘Follow’! 👌


  3. I am with you on this – I really do not enjoy massages. Invariably my muscles who were just whining begin to scream blue murder the moment they are subjected to a ‘relaxing’ massage!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have felt that way about “facial”. The advertisements show beautiful women, slathered in stuff on their face with cucumber slices over their eyes and looking relaxed, blissful and smiling. When I get it done, the face is either dripping with something cold, or gooey, or smelly or dry and pulling the skin and the woman who massages my face wants to test the compressive strength of my skull and the elasticity of my cheek skin, my eyes are burning. The only reason I still get it done is to get out of doing my chores for 20 minutes. Sad, I know.


  5. DId you eventually feel better after? Or just because she eventually stopped? 😉 I remember one “traditional massage” like that, I was asking myself all the time why oh why I was inflicting this to my body? 😀


  6. Almost 10 years for me licensed to massage. The longer I keep the license, the less my hands actually want to manipulate the skin and muscles. I don t want to touch everyone – only those who give a damn about healing themselves.
    For three years while the legislation allowed, I’d volunteered at a cannabis massage dispensary where I came face to face with many disgusting and disturbing preconceived notions about masseuse.
    Plus I only get 1 code to bill insurance and Obamacare ruined the experience.
    Masseuse are not valued for their brains either.

    Please don’t hate on massage because you had a poor experience.
    I’ve had a poor experience finding people to touch.


      1. Only thing I can compare it to right now: mainstream media vs. Independent journalism.
        Mainstream massage services in spa vs. Independent practitioner on path of mastery.
        Duality at work.
        Good day friend.


  7. I am a massage therapist. The first thing that comes to mind is why would any therapist want to be compared to a masseuse? If you are a true therapist then you know a masseuse is a bodyworker and not a therapist. Don’t do your profession the disservice of putting it in the same category as a sex worker.

    As for the experience the author had, I do extremely deep tissue work, and I have on occasion had clients who have bruised. However they get off my table feeling better. The other thing I will note is that communication is key when seeking a massage therapist to assist you with your soft tissue issues. I am appalled that the therapist did not take the time to explain things to you about working within your level of comfort, offer alternatives to the treatment, make you aware that it was your massage not theirs and empower you to direct them appropriately. Do not ever let a therapist run the show. They are there to treat you and ensure they are doing so within your level of comfort.

    I further wonder if they did any pretreatment history, medical history, and assessment?

    And finally, are you in the USA? I want to make sure I am comparing a Canadian therapist to a Canadian therapist.

    I am sorry you had such a horrible experience.


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